Male or Female:

Hey!  You dont want to pay child support,  quit going out there without protection and having babies then.  You think $600.00 a month is too much?  Chances are the ones that has custody is paying rent, utilities,  do you know how much laundry there is for little ones?  Do you know how much formula and baby food and diapers cost?  Baby sitters take up over 1/3 of your pay.  Even after they out grow the sitter, there is school supplies, activities, clothing, not to mention doctors, dentist, eye care, insurance and any other special needs.   Most of the time when I hear people complaining about the cost , its the people that really dont put much effort out to take of the child in the first place.  So again,  I say,  dont want those additional obligations.... obstain, or take protection!!

I think alot of you are missing the point here....(me) the point is equality, the court and child support system favor the mother regardless of the situation no child should be left behind nor go hungry however child support should be based off both the parents income and as for the mother getting up in the middle of the night and changing the diaper GOD BLESS YOU!! However if you are this mother and have a problem with it and the father is not there you should have used your head and did this with someone a little more compatable and responsible. If the child support enforcement agency was a little more fair maybe women would be a little more hesitant on having a child out of wedlock. Obviously the men don't get it....

When I divorced my husband (which in retrospect was a big mistake on my part), I felt that I was the lucky one to have the child and that HE was the victim because he did not want a divorce, loved his child and me, and would not be part of day-to-day life with his child.  We were both young and immature.  I felt I should pay HIM for being the lucky one with the child.  The judge insisted I request child support, however, whether I wanted it or not, and whether or not he could afford it.  I asked for $30 a month. 

Why would any mother want her child to grow up and think that half of his or her genes came from a bad person?  If you want to mess up a kid, tell him that half of what he has inherited is from a "bad" person and half is from a "good" person.  All his or her life, the child would be wondering...  "Am I bad?  Am I good?  Who will I take after?"  A real mother would want to make sure the child was proud of ALL of his genes...and do everything she could to help her ex-husband be the man her child could be proud of.

I had two friends - one was always angry and threatening to take her ex to court for MORE money...etc etc.  Her daughter turned out to be totally messed up.  Her sister just accepted help from her ex when he could give it.  Eventually he grew up, got a great job and he came to her and suggested he start paying her more!  And helped put the child through college.  That child, who grew up without the anger and threats, turned out healthy. 

Issues are not always as simple or morally cut and dried as they look. 

Had to add, my childrens needs come first! Not a sports car driving, money hungry gold-digger. I will agree, most woman use child support to their advantage. They should be ashamed of themselves! Well, it will come bite them in the ass once they no longer recieve it.

Okay well boo hoo hoo. Always have to have a mother come into a story with you must be an aweful father and bash the mother in front of the kids and what not. You don't know that, your just making a quick assumption. I don't care about what you have gone through nor your story.

Look at this point all we want is fair and equality. I think since I pay 600 a month for my child that I should be able to claim taxes as well. After all I am taxed heavily for money I never spent but yet the mother gets to claim all the taxes and gets the child support tax free. Now that money is for my child as it should be, but the visitation should be more open to the non custodial parent who does pay child support and does provide for his children.

I'm tired of people come onto this type of chat and say that they have to take care of the child bathe them take them to school and what not. so what, that is your primary position as the custodial parent becuase believe me I would trade that in a heart beat. don't complain about it or just trade places and you pay the child support and start living with minimal standards and barely get by.

We who pay child support should also be afforded the chance and ability to have the same home and standards that the child currently has with the custodial parent as well, not just there. They should have a room and toys and or things they have at the non custodial home as well as the custodial parent does, however it is not afforded due to the standard of living which we cannot provide because everybit goes to child support and taxes. Best for the child, should be afforded equal time and enviroment. Understandably the time is not going to happen but doesn't mean that they should constantly be bored when they are with the noncustodial parent 1. becuase they are hardly there and have no friends 2. becuase they don't have all of there stuff 3. the noncustodial parent can't afford to take the child anywhere.

all in all when the child grows they will see the differences and notice everything that went on during their childhood and make their own decisions. We need a change in the system and need it done soon. the courts make a frivilous standard possession orders, and standard child support orders the courts deem in the best needs of the child. When all it does is cause termoil between two adults that normally the child feels the affects from. Instead of using blanket laws try using some common sense that not every man or woman can make it through these blanket laws.

First off i cant believe i even got lured into replying to this post, isnt worth my time!! BUT i just have to! Alright when a child is born, the mother automatically has full cutody and rights to the child. Why doesnt the father? BECAUSE THE BABY CAME FROM THE MOTHER, HOW do they know you are the real father? Unless you seriously want them to take only the words from the mother? That would be crazy!! Lets now address the pitty party you just threw. I didnt finish reading your post, i didnt have to to realize how pathetic it was getting. You must be one of those bitter men that has to give YOUR money up huh? Well let me tell you, first of all if you want to see your child there is something called a LAWYER! BUT WAIT THAT TAKES MORE OF YOUR MONEY. Cmon now. Lets grow up here. Every child deserves a loving stable mom and dad in their lives. I myself have 3 little boys and 2 ADOPTED step sons (their mom ran off, so i know BOTH sides to this) My 2 boys are from a previous, he is ordered to pay and he pays. I have NEVER stopped him from seeing them, actually ive went as far as telling him id give all his money back in a heart beat if that meant him having a relashionship with them. Money doesnt buy a childs love, it doesnt pay them off, or make up for where you are lacking. Bottom line is no matter how bitter you seem to be you need to think about the best interests of your child. If someone is standing in the way of you seeing your child, you need to hire an attorney. Child support doesnt deal with visitaion, thats a whole new issue.

Alright now i also married a man who had complet custody of his two boys because their mom decided on bailing on them when they were 1 and 3. Ive raised them since they were 18 months and  3 1/2 She moved from state to state, skipping jobs all of the time, so she was never traced, EVEN crossed the border undetected. 2 Years ago (boys are now 10 and 8)  we had her rights taken away and went forward with me adoption them as my own.

I understrand both sides here because i have not only been the one to recieve child support with no problems, but ive also seen child support let someone else down (Hubby).

I just think more people need to start thinking about the impact everything they do or say is going to have on their children at some point in their lives. If you hate your ex thats your problem not theirs. If your bitter at your ex thats your problem not theirs. But like i said you need a lawyer if you want to see your child. But try not to sound so bitter, you will not win that way! AND ITS NOT ALL ABOUT MONEY.

No love will ever be given like the love given from that of an innocent child

the rest of my post didnt go thru

I sent this to Pomeroy, Dorgan, Conrad, Hoeven, Three Affiliated Tribes along with Child Support Enforcement.

Yes there is something wrong with the system, and I don't see much change happening.

2 and 5,  Just show them love and patience.