I want to add my 2 cents in this hot topic, let me say first that I fought tooth and nail for the custody of my son, all the way to supreme court, and before they gave us our decision from supreme court she just handed my son over to me,(he was 16) she was starting her next divorce and she did not have the time or place to take care of my son, 10 months later the courts finally changed the CS payments from me to her and she has just now started to pay me, its been just over a year ago now that my son has been with me, his grades have gone up, he is happier and seems to be enjoying life with a smile on his face! I think he is a happier person now.

 

this all started back in 2000, it was her who had an affair, it was her who left with my son, it was her who filed for divorce, it was her who left town with my son, it was her who lied in court, it was her who got custody of my son, it was her who laughed about it with some of our mutual friends thinking it was funny, it was her who seemed to have lots of money with working, getting remarried, and getting child support, it was my son who suffered by having to sleep on the floor for 3 years for lack of having a bed, he suffered in school as I was the one who made sure he did his work and passed his tests, I suffered, my family suffered, all over a poorly run system, we lost a lot of time together that we will never get back due to this system and poor judgement from judges, (about 4 different ones) she was able to lie, drink and party, run like a dog in heat, and is now looking for hubby #3, I was husband #1, she hurt alot of others in the last divorce and thats not over yet! and more kids were hurt, she is in the same place right now as she was 20 years ago, broke with nothing! and she will do it again just as soon as she can find the next one! its really to bad that things go this way, I know that my situation is like many others, the law shines on the women as care giver and the men are just working mules who bring home the money, not true anymore! I know many men, who, like me could and would do a better job raising the kids than the mother would! something needs to be done!! my fight is about over once my son turns 18, but many of the men are just getting into it, I think there should be a much better way to pick the "lessor" out of a set of parents so the children could have the best chance right out of the gate, also perhaps there should be a law of some sort to make them do some counceling before a divorce is granted..... anything would be better then what we have to work with now.

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Single Baby Mama.

What are you doing to make sure your child has what it needs?  Are you working, going to school?  what.

Are you also not having unprotected sex anymore?

What are you doing for this child?   How many do you have?  

Yes, its mostly up to the women.   And most are making terrible decisions.

To single women reading this post.   Be cautious of any "boyfriends" you bring into the relationship.  It will hurt your kids.  You kids will think of this boyfriend as daddy, and he will probably leave you..  Look for a MARRIAGE relationship, not shack ups or one nighters.  Too many "boyfriends" abuse the children from another relationship.  its very dangerous for the child. 

Stay out of bars and doing drugs, your kids need you.

If you can't be the mom you should be,  ADOPT THE CHILD OUT.  Give the child a chance.

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~anonymous~ ID#: 32489 My tears go out to you! The Child Support System sucks! Even though I need help, I would NEVER go to them! I will struggle everyday, and me and my child will make it the best we can. I feel the CS system are crooks! I feel sorry for any man/woman who has to be put in the system. It's a lose/lose situation. You can lose all you have, go hungry and die for they care. I watched how my best friend drug her kids father through the sirt whild she sat and laughed. I would like to ask a question... If I can't afford to buy my child that special pair of shoes that she wants, or that designer outfit that she wants, should I be locked up, put in jail? Reply...

I just think there are a lot of women out there who abuse the Child Support System! People say women have to pay the rent, wash the kids clothes, buy them food, cloth them, BUT... half the women who receive child support are on welfare, receiveing foodstamps, or are remarried.  I don't care for the child support system or agree with their ways in anyway. If a father gets their child every weekend, every holiday, and every summer, they still have to pay the mother even though they have the child just has much as she does.

Most of the time, men are only on CS because the mother is jealous of their lives or still want them in some sort of way. I agree, men shoul use protection when having sex, but us as women should really be more careful!!!!! It starts with us, and it ends with us. I think the goverment should find a way for single mothers who have never been married to not be able to file for CS. I bet there will be less babies out of wedlock! I think a lot of women use their children to trap ther father, or just for money! I myself have seen cases where baby mamas get money and spend it on themselves and the kids look homeless! There needs to be a better plan for CS! Signing off.... A Single Baby Mother!

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Good Morning!

Well, I see Theresa says it is rained in Minot.  That is so nasty this time of year.  I hope today is not more of the same. 

Yep, my friend is here.  We had a fun day.  We did some shopping and then came home to make steak on the grill and stir fry.  But, first we got in the hot tub for  a little while and that was really great.  We lite the fire place outside and had a nice time watching the fire.  (My eyes are scratchy today from smoke)  My friend had a entire bottle of wine by herself so she got kind of sleepy and the night ended kind of early.  I watched a little tv and went to bed and for some reason my tummy started to hurt so I spent most of the night up.  Now I am tired.  I may have to make it an early night myself tonight. 

Not much else today.  I think we will go for a power walk this morning and this afternoon when the temps go up we will maybe lay in the sun.  It is only going to be in the 60's but still nice if the sun is out and no wind.  Wish you all could come on down and join us.  I can see where a person gets kind of depressed when it snows and snows etc.  I talked to several people and sounds like many sick kids up there.

That is some picture Theresa.....Butt the is always hope for another idiot to post from Walmart tomorrow.

Later Ladies

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Come on.. Did he not feel a draft?  I sometimes think these pictures must be stagged, then at times I think no, thats just people... LOL

I am bored this week also.  I think with hubby being out of town for 3 months is taking its toll.

Since we are self employed, my prayer is that he will find enough work here in Charlotte that he doesn't have to go back to wilmington.

Still nursing grandson with the strep throat.  He is doing very well, not in pain..

Hope you are all having a great day.

Remember, even with fights on the other posts, we have the sanctity of CARE 11 to come too and relax..

vivian

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Great si ko!  I will be looking for it, now would you allow me to mail you back the dvd "bridges of madison country"... I only watched it once.. but I would love to switch off with you.. let me know...

viv

CONGRATS TO THE SWIM TEAM.... YEA.

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Yes, Congrats to Theresa's son n his team!!!

Its been foggy and misty the past few days here Curly..not so good news for the arthritic people!  Friday nite I went to the wake and saturday I went to the funeral.  It was a beautiful funeral.  Tons of balloons, a few songs sung by the family members and a slide show.  the road to the cemetary was pretty ugly and muddy so they asked that people with trucks only go down there. When they loaded the body up to follow, the family released all the helium balloons.

We went to Minot but it was late. We left about 9, dropped the truck off at the shop, went to walmart and came home. rugrat and I only meant to nap for about an hr n half.. ended up to be a 3 hour one..(gilligans islands 3 hour tour ran thru my head lol)

So its back to work for the week..

The kids are doing good.  They were watching the simpsons n the princess has a cold. They are patiently waiting for me to come visit them.  I told them when I have some $$ and time..I wont let them know its their bday present! lol

Viv, I finally sent it! I finally got my card out to my husbands aunt with the kids pics.  we dont have any of the youngest because of the mother. *rolling eyes*

How was dinner Theresa? I am glad you got to spend the weekend with your family :)

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Congrats T!!!!!!

 

Sorry I havent been around much. Got to get back to work...darn boss doesnt show his face for 4 hours and all of sudden here he comes........

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Well, guess I will just look at and respond to CAre II since the boys and girls on this forum can't play nice.  I can't beleive these folks can't debate a topic with out being so nasty.  One in particular..... 

I have a friend here from ND but it is raining so we are kind of house bound for now.  Might go to town later in the day.  Hope you are all well, will check in again later and maybe something better going on. 

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Carl Edwards should get fined points for that. That was intentional.... Reply...

I decided to read most of this thread today.    I feel bad for all of you that have to pay.     But pay you must,   the children are who are important now.

I wouldn't pay anything though If I didn't know for sure I was the daddy.  (as one mentioned)

Someone mentioned that each case be looked at individually.   Who has time?   Who has that kind of money?   Not our states thats for sure.

So,  Take protection for you actions.   IF YOU AREN'T MARRIED USE A CONDOM AND BIRTH CONTROL... always...

Thats why you are paying, because you didn't.

~~~

My neighbor just left her husband of 12 yrs.  Took the 3 kids ( 9, 7, 5)... She still lives in the same town and said he can get the kids anytime he wants.   She is afraid of him, and told us all she finds herself looking over her shoulder.      Yes,  he will pay alot...  He wasn't a good father or husband..

Again I say... USE PROTECTION ALWAYS....

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The problem is not so much that the child support laws are "against" anybody.  Anyone who is a noncustodial parent does have problems with it, but it's more because they have taken a "one size fits all" approach to child support. 

Noncustodial parents have to pay a minmum whether or not they are employed and no matter what their employment history is.  If a Stay at home mom with little employment history does not get custody, she still has to pay as much as a man would, in spite of the fact that the children enjoy the same lifestyle they did before divorce.  This is actually my situation.  I don'[t have a job, I can't find a job and I'm being treated like a criminal because of it.  It also doesn't matter how much the custodial parent makes.  This causes problems for everybody. 

Child support needs to be looked at on a case by case basis and if a parent can't even afford to support themselves based on their income and employment history, they shouldn't have to pay.  On the other hand, if the noncustodial parent makes significantly more money than the custodial parent, they should pay.

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1975-2000 was an era of radical international child support reform, beginning in the United States.
In 1975, a federal office of child support enforcement was created within the Department of Health and Human Services.
In the late 1970s and 1980s, the man who became known as the grandfather of child support reform, Irwin Garfinkel, suggested adopting sweeping systemic reforms based on the Swedish socialist and Russian communist models.
By 1990, the U.S. had implemented a brutal and manipulative child support regime that was more Russian than Swedish, and had nothing whatsoever to do with the U.S.
Constitutional framework for interaction between the individual and the state.
Amounts ordered as child support are arbitrarily controlled by state committees. Collection tactics include everything from workplace harassment and car booting to armed police crashing through doors and massive midnight raids to cart off truck-loads of fathers from poor neighborhoods.
Meanwhile, billions of federal tax dollars began flowing into the pockets of divorce industry insiders. Everyone involved got a piece of the action. State child support bureaucracies grew, judicial retirement accounts expanded, and newly created private child support collection agencies profited from both federal tax dollars and the ability to skim approximately one-third of the child support debt – much newly created by the reforms – from child support payments. The picture presented to the American public however, was tailored to political taste.
If you would like more information, contact me. Reply...

Thats a terrible story girl....

Yes, everyone have a great weekend.

 

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Howdy  Pawdners!  (that is said with my best Az accent.)  Just teasing Theresa!

Well, I had quite a day yesterday!  I was spose to go to my friends house at about 3:00.  She lives up in Mesa.  Then we were going to meet another friend and her husband and some others at about 4:00 at a place called Nando's. (It is a great privately owned Mexican rest. was wonderful)     any way, I left our house for the about 45 min drive to her house about 1:30 because I wanted to stop at Costco for a few min before I went to her house. 

I get on the interstate heading north.  Was interstate 10.  I got about 20miles from home and traffic came to a dead stop.  Sat and waited and waited and talked on the phone and listened to the radio  FOREVER!  What I had come accross was the traffic back up from that bus that went over with people from Mexico on it headed for Los Angelos.  I had asked a deputy sherif if the road was closed and he said no, it had just been reopened when I had filled gas at Casa Grande.  So I am all happy and take off not knowing what lay ahead of me.  When I finally crept inch by inch up to a turn off at exit 175, I turned off and took a route that got me out of the stand still.  I never did get to my friends house.  I got the directions to the resturant and went directly there.  I got there at almost 5:00.  I missed some conversation and that was about all but I don't see these people offen so I had really been looking forward to it. 

I feel so sad for the people on that bus.  It was here illegally.  It had no insurance and the company had been told they could not come over with that bus for safety reasons.  6 dead and many injured.  I did not get to see the accident scene cause I turned off but I bet it was terrible.

Theresa, I watched the video of your son.  He is a handsome young fello.  good luck to him.  Did he have a man named Ken Disher for a coach?  He was one of my clients when I was still working and I think he is retired now.  Hope someone is taking some video for you of the meet.  Our son used to swim when he was a 8,9,10 grader but gave it up.  He wanted to play football and he also wanted to work so time was the reason.  I loved to go watch but you are right, it was hot in there. 

Well, gotta go to town and get a prescription for hubby.  Hope you have a nice weekend everyone.  I have a friend coming in about 10:30 tonight at the airport in Mesa.  She is from Minot.  I will try to check in from time to time but will be busy so will be limited. 

Later ladies!

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