Bismarck couple writes book on importance of communication in first responder families

Good Day Dakota

Balancing home and work life can be difficult, but it’s even more challenging for families of first responders.

A Bismarck couple is sharing the struggles of a first responder family in their recently published book 10 Code Marriage.

The pandemic has been a challenging time for everyone, especially first responders and their families like Rachel and Lance Allerdings. Lance is in law enforcement and Rachel is a stay-at-home mom of three.

Rachel co-authored a book titled 10 Code Marriage. She says, “It was a very crazy, scary time and it just kind of came out it was just one of those incidences that just happened and he was there to be part of it.”

Rachel adds, “There have been a lot of things in our world, in our country that have changed people’s views on law enforcement and how situations have been handled or dealt with. And I think a lot of that has trickled down to everyone.”

Those events have been hurtful for the Allerdings, that’s where the book 10 Code Marriage comes in.

Rachel says, “We decided that 10 Code was very specific to first responders especially law enforcement. the 10 Code is how they communicate. So you’ve heard people say 10-4 or 10-8.
and so we wanted to have something that was specific to a first responder lifestyle.”

Rachel says communication in a marriage is essential, especially when the unexpected happens like a critical incident on the job.

She explains, “Anywhere from a shooting, a stabbing, a vehicle incident that they go through. It’s something that is more of a severe case or a heightened case.”

Since the critical incident Lance was involved in last year, the Allerdings relied heavily on their faith and people from their church to help them navigate life. People life Pastor Dianna Freitag says, this book came just in time.

Freitag, Senior Adult Pastor at Evangel adds, “There’s so much going on in our world, so many voices that people don’t know what to believe or how to feel. Everyone has their own opinion. People have been isolated for so long.”

She says all the medical professionals and first responders dealing with people during this time has
put pressure on everyone.

Dianne explains, “I see it in every age, from little to older people how they’ve had to cope and readjust. SO there needs to be a voice of hope.”

The voice the Allerdings bring in 10 Code Marriage.

Rachel shared a paragraph from her book, “Communication is for sure a two-way street. It makes life a lot harder if the officer, fireman, EMT or whichever first responder isn’t sharing their life or work life with their spouse. Be vulnerable. Be open, and communicate everything.”

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