Recovery from addiction sometimes takes many attempts to get clean. After multiple treatments and transition homes, this Bismarck woman knew she wanted to change.

But the real turning point for 27-year-old Payton Binder was the time she had to spend in the psych ward. Only then did she finally decide she was ready to start her recovery journey.

Binder says, “I ended up jumping out of the car going down the highway. I was pregnant. It was the middle of winter in North Dakota and it was pretty cold. So I rolled out and got up and started running back to town. I was out of my mind. I was scared for my life.”

Binder grew up in Hazen, North Dakota. After her parents split up as a child, first, she stayed with her mom. She tried marijuana for the first time at age 13. A year later, she moved in with her dad.

Binder adds, “I started drinking and partying just about every day.”

From age 16 to 24, she was in treatment five times.

“My family didn’t know what to do with me anymore,” said Binder, “I don’t want to say they wrote me off, but it’s painful to live with someone who’s using and drinking.”

After a series of broken relationships and a trip to the psych ward, she knew something needed to change.

Binder says she felt really isolated and very suicidal. She says, “I felt like I was the only person in the world who felt like I felt. In the psych ward, I had a turning point. A thought came to me that was I need to stay exactly where I’m at.”

Meaning: she needed to stay sober. But in order to do that she needed help. So, she applied to stay at Hope Manor Sober Living in Bismarck. It was there, she learned the life skills she needed to maintain sobriety.

Binder shares, “They through you into recovery. It’s amazing. You have to do a certain amount of requirements. So that was what I needed.”

Her advice to someone who may need help too?

“Believe what I’m saying. Because I understand and I’ve been where you’ve been and I know that emptiness and that pain and it can be transformed.” says Binder.

She says all the structure at Hope Manor has paid off. In May, she started her own cleaning company and she is getting married in June.

For information on recovery resources and more stories like this, check out the KX News Road to Recovery page.